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just postin

Feb. 19th, 2010 | 09:04 am

hi hi hi

i just gots a little bits up front.

its been cold here. brrrrrr

ar daddy is here aposed to be visitin but maybe he will stay forever.

today was M birthday.
we do miss him lots an lots.
it do make a person feel lost.
likes only a little string be keepin him here.
just a string with memories hung up on it.

hope everybody is havin a good day.

renny ann
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Bout Trustin

Jan. 31st, 2010 | 10:21 pm

hi hi hi

i wants to talks bout this trustin thingie.
its really HARD !

know when a talkin doctor is safe can be HARD to !

one time we had one did not be good.
she did throw us away.
an afore she did she tol Nikie she was to blame for all kinda things that she couldnt a done.

anyways then we went to see drH.
she tol me an everybody else in ar inside family not to trust her "jus like that."
cuz it werent safe to trust anybody like that. no even a doctor.
she tol us we should wait an see if she deserved us trustin her.
we had some long talks bout that to.
oh yes we did !

but drH did always be there.
not every minute of every day.
but when it were real important she was.
an even when we had to move away she didnt forget bout us.
nope an we would see her when she came to Florida an in Jersey when we was there.
those times were jus for a long long talkin lunchs.
not like goin to her office talkin times.
then lots of 365 day years went by. Ravin says 11 of them.
then we wented to Jersey an saw her almost everyday for 2 months.
that was a lots of workin.
an it was then i did really be glad i was trustin her a tiny bits.
cuz i did have to talk bout some bad bad stuff.

then we camed back to Florida an Nikie found us drL.
an she said almos the same thing bout trustin her.
an that did take some lots of 365 days.
but all that times she does be there.
even when we had to go to Israel for a long long time.
she did talk to us every saturday while we was there.
an i wrote her lots an lots of letters.
an she said i could call her anytime.
if she could talk she would jus for a minutes.
an even come to her office to jus see her.
in between times to make sure she was there.
cuz she would jus fall out my head.
but we didnt never really do that.
but i did call her lots an she didnt never gets mad.
but she didnt always answer or call back.
but thats cuz she was busy helpin somebody else.
an that be important.

when i tol her i was worried she had a secret door in her office.
one that went to her laboratory she said she didnt have one.
so we went out an walked all round her building an i touched the whole thing to make sure.
in her office we rolled up the rug an looked there.
an i touched all the walls in her office.
an she showed me the office next to her an i touched them walls.
an she said i could do it over an over till it didnt fall out ar head.

an then one day i lets her touch my finger real quick.
an i waited an waited to see if she would get sick an die.
an i called her every day lots of times, but she didnt gets sick or die.
then after a long long 365 days i let her hold my hand.
then i called her lots again but she was still okay.
long time ago drH said my black inside was expired.
that maked sense cuz the adults say it was a long long time ago.
drL said it was all lies the bad peoples told me.
an she didnt die. but i tol her yet.
but then when one my kittys had to be go to the vet to get a shot cuz she was so so sick.
i didnt wana let the adults put her down. thats dead.
but drL talked to me an said i had to help my kitty cuz this one was sickers real bad an in pain.
when i went to see drL after that she did put her arm round my shoulder an give me a hug.
i was so so sure she would have to die to!
but she didnt.
it was like a miracle.

an i did tell drL so so many bad things an she still be there.
an she dont hate me.
an she didnt throw me away.
she even says she loves me.
an she reminds me all the time when it falls out my head.

drL says this all be what trust is bout.
so i thought to write bout it so you could know bout it.


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jus whats happenin

Jan. 26th, 2010 | 08:46 am
mood: thoughtful thoughtful

hi hi hi

its been a time since i wrote here.
all kinda stuff been happenin.

for one ar daddy came to live here.
the grownups are not sure if it will be forever or jus a visit.
cuz he only wants to stay a couple months.
but the outside sister an brother want him here forever.

i kinda like havin him heres.
hes a nice man.
an the brother hes mean to him.
an that aint right.
an he gives me a kiss good night every night.
an him an Hank an the other boys gets to watch football together.

he jus gets kinda muddled in his thinkin.
but hes old old old so that be what happens.
Margret be cookin him all his favorite foods.
Ravin says we all gona get FAT :!:

i been seein drL lots.
but i be sharin my times with Nikie.
she be feelin real real sad.
drL says its cuz all her feelin did get front at once.
cuz some real bad things happened to my sister Nikie.

drL says all them bad things that happened is ar history.
that we is jus learnin ar history.
an that its a lot of history to learn cuz so so much happened.
cuz so many be in ar body sharin.
thats a lot of doin.

drL says we prolly has like a photographic memory of ar history.
but its all chopped up cuz so many peoples maked the history.
im not so sure bout the history.
cuz it dont be like in history books in school.
that history be bout important stuff.

sometimes its hard to figure out what grownups mean.
an next time we is gona talk bout love an Half.


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Hanukkah 2009!!

Dec. 21st, 2009 | 07:27 pm

hi hi hi everybody
it been a time since i came to write here.
lots of stuff happenin.
i did have a nice Hanukkah.
we went las night to Temple an singed songs.
we had lots an lots of Latkas (potato pancakes).

with lots an lots of apple sauce yum yum.
an Sufganiyot (doughnuts).
an gelt (chocolate covered in gold foil like coins) we played the Dreidel game.
lighted the Menorah for 8 nights.
we had a big big party an I helped put up decorations.
i maked my drL a present.
i painted a dreidel with horses on it.
when it spins the horse does run.
it be her Peggy Sue thats her horse.
an i maked her a card with a poem bout miracles.
cuz Hanukkah is bout miracles.
then i maked Peggy Sue some them horse cookies.
the ones Schnerd did put on here.
they tasted like health cookies.
but good for horses.
DrL did love her present.
Peggy Sue ate her cookie politely.
but the other horses liked them lots an lots.
i maked a Xmas decoration for my drH to.
it be an angel holdin a heart with two little sucker fishes.
i did send out cards to lots of peoples for Xmas.
all over the places.
hope peoples has good happy holiday.

renny ann
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just thinkin

Oct. 20th, 2009 | 10:08 am
location: outside with kittys

i been thinkin.
course i always be thinkin.
my drL gives me all kindsa thinks to wonder bout.
then sometimes i gots my own BIG thinks.

i started my new book.
i will give it a name when its finished.
this is gona be my # 4 book.
i write books for drL.
it helps her understand.
cuz shes a grownup.
an well they think different bout things.
they got all these words that jus dont fit.
sometimes we has to agree to disagree for a bit.

anyways i make books.
in them i make pictures of what i see or feel.
cuz drL cant pop in my head an see or feel.
she does look an read an then asks what i wanted to say.
sometimes she gets what i be meanin.
sometimes i gotsa explains more.

my drL sits next to me.
she dont be afraid of my black inside.
she dont be disgusted or nothin.
sometimes she even holds my hand.
i used to worry bout her gettin all the bad stuff stuck.
you know like pictures in her head.
but she dont see pictures in her head.
i guess thats a good thing.
cuz i sure wouldnt want her havin all this bad in her head.

oh an my kittys is sittin right here with me purrin so pretty.


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long time away

Sep. 24th, 2009 | 10:36 am
location: jus outside the sukkah
mood: calm calm

hi hi hi everybody!

its been a long long time since i writed here.
hard hard things to be doin inside.
lots of talkin to drL.

Nikie an Ravin an Pith did try an open the Squabble Room.
but Elgan locked it tight.
then drL helped Ravin make a Sukkah right outside the SRdoor.
first she maked it of apple trees but those were scary so nobody wanted to come.
apple trees yell an throw apples an apples are poison.

so now the Sukkah is peach trees an has a manorah with soft yellow light.
an a tinkly chime so all the sisters an brothers could find it.
cuz we have to come out the dark dark mindsoup inside the head.

but Ratoo helped lots of them come be in the Sukkak.
the Sukkak is a safe place with no door to lock.
now it does smell like peaches!
it be workin pretty good to.

Elgan dont be happy bout it.
but he can come in to.
long as he dont hurt nobody or be a bully.
but i guess he dont wana yet.

i been havin big big thinks bout stuff.

drL says its bout trustin her.
an i do a little bunch.
but its hard sometimes.
its confusin.
we been talkin a whole lots bout lovin.
lovin is so so confusin.
i dont be sure if my lovin is really lovin.
how do a person know?
what if you aint really a person.
what if you is jus garbage?
what if the onlyest person who was lovin me  was BAD?
everybody says he was really really bad?

my drWhiteCoat said he loved me.
but everybody says it was a trick.
he keeped me alive.
dont that be lovin me?
he didnt hurt me bad like the other doctor or the shiny shoes or bad peoples.
drL says it was fake lovin.
jus a trick to get what he wanted.
he wanted me to be lovin him.
an i did with both my little sucker fishes that lives on my black my heart.

there be lots to think bout.
lovin is confusin.
knowin if i be lovin?
knowin if it be real or fake?
cuz how does you tell?

i think i do be lovin my drL & drH.
it feels soft an squishy an safe an warm an makes me happy.
drL says thats part of lovin.
she says she knows i be lovin her.
like faith.
but thats another big think.
so big thinks all over the place.

oh an im almost finished with my second book.
so much writin an drawin pictures.
drL says i prolly gots another book to write.

i sure like puttin colours in here!!!!!
hope everyone is doin fun things!


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somethin went wrong

Jun. 19th, 2009 | 10:41 am

hi hi hi

big big confusion
first the big boy did like brother
big shot to head an dead
no comin back
no fair not fair at all.
dead is dead
no comin back

but his soul is young
gona try again
its gots lots more lives like a cat

i feel the young boy
hes not so big as the other
but hes got a old soul
this be his last time round
but he gots all young young ideas

feelin a failure
failin cuz he thinks its to to hard
dont want this to be the finish life.
he gots lots of shiny good.
he jus forgets bout it.

his heart is broke
he wants to love a shiny person
he wants to make everyone to to proud
he falls down
cuz his old soul forgets
how young his llife really is.

the moms is so so worried
everything inside is worry
holdin on
we only be here to keep safe
we were just to make them
to grow them
to send them out to ground
but somethin went wrong
all wrong.

so much to think
i think i will stop now.


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surprise 2 me!!!

Jun. 2nd, 2009 | 11:48 pm

hi hi hi

thanks you Polly peoples!!!

i gots a post card from Scottsland!

thanks you so much for memeberin me!

i puts it up in my window.


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polly peaoples post!

May. 29th, 2009 | 08:57 am

hi hi hi polly peoples!!!

i gots yur postcard in the mail!
Scotland how cool was that?!

did you gets to play bagpipes?
go to castles?
oh what fun to explore!

you are home now.
how lovely to sleep in yur own bed.

thanks you so much for thinkin of us!


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May. 25th, 2009 | 01:22 pm

hi hi hi everyone

i wana say THANKS YOUS Ja & SKat!!!
for my birthday picture it was so so pretty and springy.
yous did a goodest job makin it for me.

oh me oh my ive been not writin here for a long long time.
i been real busy writin in my book for drL.

D graduated from high school.
he did look so handsome.
we all was so so proud of him.
now he will leave for college.
not so far away.
actually he will be pretty close to DISNEY!!

we was aposed to have a yartzeit for M.
it gots canceled cuz the stone didnt come to Temple.
Nikie writed a real nice poem to read.

i miss M he was my baby for a while.
he was my friend when he was little.
he growed big and strong.
he had a crack we didnt see to fix.
i miss him.


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